Eurovision 2013

Last year we didn’t watch Eurovision. I think we (or just I) vaguely knew it was on, but didn’t really think about it; however, over the past year the radio has punished us by playing Loreen’s “Eurphoria” approximately 800 million times. Loreen, you see, was Sweden’s entry in the 2012 European song contest, and she won. This was a BIG DEAL here. The song is alright, a good dance hit, but overplayed like every other semi-decent pop hit anywhere else in the world, but more importantly Sweden winning mean the show was to be held here this year.

And this year, I made sure to watch it. Which meant Matt was forced to watch it too. Heh heh. At first he was all cranky, and didn’t understand why I wanted to comment on everything and keep a score of each country so we could remember who we liked and wanted to vote for, but then after one or two songs he caught on and indulged me. Mostly due to, I think, the pretty girls that were competing 😉

This competition is ridiculous. I wish America would do something like it, but I don’t think it could ever come close. America is just not Europe, and Europe still holds a sense of innocence in its entertainment. Like, it’s so cheesy it’s bad, and it’s so cheesy bad it’s good, and you just want to hug everyone. This is how I felt about Azerbaijan’s cute Farid Mammadov and his performance (and velvet suit?):

via youtube
via youtube

But, mostly I want to hug Romania’s contestant because…he was straight up ROBBED:

Did you watch that? If not, go back and watch it NOW.

And Greece. I believe the quote/tweet of the night/infinity was this:

Brian Moylan Twitter

On a serious note, we had a lot of fun watching and commenting on the performances. For a quick recap of some noteworthy moments:

Finland almost stole my heart for good simply because Krista Siegfrids reminded me of a Spice Girl.

via thesun.co.uk
via thesun.co.uk

Matt says, “This is the song they play during a bad chick flick.” He’s so right. But he enjoyed the kiss at the end.

via mirror.co.uk
via mirror.co.uk

During Belgium’s performance he said the guy reminded him of a creepy Joaquin Phoenix (“Don’t you agree?!” “No, but he is creepy.”), then scoffed at the back up dancers who he claimed were a bad attempt at Beyonce’s back-up dancers (as seen at the 1:20 mark). That man misses nothing.

I suspect he gave SpainUkraine, and especially Belarus extra points because those were some very pretty girls.

Likewise, I gave points to Ireland for the very pretty boys playing the drums.

I figured for SURE Ireland would win. FOR SURE. I was way wrong.

Norway’s Margaret Berger was my favorite lady and song of the entire show. I like a good dramatic pop song, something that makes you feel all powerful, like you OWN whatever street you are walking on…while listening to this song on your headphones.

In the end, and as usual, Denmark could do no wrong. I mean, in a competition between Denmark and everything, Denmark always wins. I say that with a quiet voice and my head hung in shame, fearing my Swedish ancestors wrath from Valhalla for even thinking it.

But honestly, that drummer/flute player. Swoon! Sure enough, not 12 hours after the show it was playing it on the radio. Matt noticed the barely audible tune overhead while we were at the baby store. I was impressed.

Of course, Sweden also had a great performance from Robin Stjernberg

so freaking adorable
so freaking adorable

but alas, his performance was overshadowed by the intermission performance from host Petra Mede.

Why was this intermission so good? Because…oh my god. The Swedes are so good at making fun of/bragging about themselves! Seriously, there is a unique mix of taking the piss out and down right declaring you’re the best in the world that only the Swedes have mastered. WATCH:

I would say the only thing missing is more Converse sneakers.

And also, why do Swedes always claim that standing in line is something they do well? It most certainly is not. Unless there is a ticket machine for a queue there are some seriously pushy, impatient people getting up in your grill, and/or just cutting in front of you.

But back to Eurovision! Other noteworthy things that I didn’t completely understand were some countries entering bonafide pop stars, like Germany’s Cascada and Great Britain’s Bonnie Tyler (slash Goldie Hawn?!?!), and the voting system. After awhile I got that each country gets to call in with their votes for their top ten, awarding the top 3 performers 8, 10 and 12 points (for 3rd, 2nd, and 1st, respectively) but it took a minute to figure out.

Whatever! Romania Norway and Ireland were robbed. Sweden put on the world’s greatest show. Denmark won. And everything was eye and ear candy GALORE.

This was a ton of fun for a Saturday night (at home and 9 months pregnant), and definitely one of the best things about living in Europe. I only wish I could have been in labor during the show because I can imagine this being the very best distraction during home-labor anyone (like me) could ever ask for.

Now, just try not to have Emmelie de Forest’s “Only Teardrops” stuck in your head for the next 365 days.

1 Comment

  1. I watched Eurovision last year, but this year, I really watched Eurovision, and I’m so glad I did! If I had had only one vote, it would’ve gone to Romania to be honest, bringing back opera like that takes courage, and is awesome. Although I was also a bit disappointed I couldn’t vote for Sweden’s intermission song, which was definitely the highlight of the show to me.

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